So i am at home waiting for my Fiancee and the little to come back from Norfolk,ive missed her so much!

Its horrible to listen to her cry on the phone for me, but the weekend sounded like great fun for them and it was great to hang out with my eldest daughter without the little one grabbing my attention all the time.

Also i need the head space away from my Fiancee,i just hope he is ready to listen to what i have to say...who knows,with some effort this relationship might have a chance...i just hope he sees it in the same way.

This is like the worse time all of this could come about,b4 i start college,b4 my daughters bday,our anniversary...xmas and stuff...but y know what doesnt kill you and all that crap...

*Sigh* i need a hug..

Last friday there was an Induction at college,after being shunted into the right groups,we then went to assembly.OMG I felt like i was five again,all it needed was for us to sit on the floor with our legs crossed to complete it!LOL

Our Headteacher ranted at us about how important it is to forget our outside issues and focus on being a success...sounds great but kids always come first.After all once my Fiancee starts full-time work,im the one who has to find childcare,fill out forms,sort the money out and everything else.I will have to make sure that someone picks them up and looks after them until i am back from college(some days i finish at 5.30pm).

Im just worried that i will settle into college and then have to rush around sorting the kids out after.For some reason i dont feel i can rely on my fiancee to do things like that.Maybe i am being too harsh,maybe he will be the organised one for a change but a part of me knows it will be muggings here rushing around and stressing.

Oh and there is a bday party to organise as well!!My eldest is going to be nine in a few weeks so i need to book the hall,sort out invites,decorations,pressies and food....arrghhh!

I wish i could just go back to bed!

So here i am,trying to post a sneaky blog while my eldest is in the bath.

Just two days away from starting my new art course at my local college..i wonder if any fellow bloggers have done/doing the Foundation Diploma in Art and Design?

Needless to say,i am very nervous about it.

Not only is it six classes a week,my fiancee is trying to get into full-time work and i have two little terrors to think about as well.
My eldest is at school so its not so bad for her but my youngest isnt even in nursery yet!

I am going to be at college 3 days a week and if my fiancee starts working,whos going to look after them?
i suppose as its been so long since ive done anything other than be a mom im starting to feel guilty about being away from them for so long.

Its such an intensive course as well,90% of my grades will be coming from the work i will be doing at home so when im not at college im still going to be working hard.

This is my chance to shine...so why do i have such a horrible feeling that its all going to go so wrong???

Aaarrgghh!Hopefully its just nerves...i hope i will get into the swing of things soon.terrors or not i dont want them to be unhappy.